Ariel Castro’s Family Is Pissed

Evil motherfucker Ariel Castro was found hanging in his cell yesterday and his family and lawyers are demanding answers. You'll recall that Castro got the awesome sentence of life + 1000 years for the brutal rape, kidnapping, and torture of three women for ten years. I guess he didn't like the prospect of being in jail until 3013. His lawyer, Craig Weintraub, is demanding a full investigation and says that Castro's family is "devastated".

"We're going to get to the bottom of it. There's no way we're going to let this go. This is a human being, we are in a civilized society and we expect that the person would be protected when they're institutionalized."

Castro might have been confused as to how you care for your prisoners since he viciously raped and beat his own innocent prisoners for almost a decade. I'm assuming the guards on his watch detail didn't feel the burning desire to keep him from offing himself. They probably snuck him the sheets. But who gives a fuck? Why should the taxpayers pay to keep this scumbag alive? He goes down as the worst Clevelander ever. And that's a distinction worthy of a hanging plus a thousand years.