Amber Heard Got Married, My Favorite Lesbionic Lusty Is Off the Market

I was always prepared to see the elegantly and outrageously hot Amber Heard lost to the clutches of another fine lady. But losing her in semi-permanence to another man, why, that's just a bitter pill to swallow. Lucky bastard Johnny Depp pretty much gets whatever he wants, even the matrimonial hand and body of lesbionic object d'lust, Amber.

I don't know how long this little contractual shindig will carry on, but I'm not letting Amber go without an honorary retrospective on some of her finer, more faptastically inclined photographs reminding us all what we once had, and may, with the help of my candle lighting and falling star wishing regimen, have once more. Just so desperately hot. I'm spilling some out for my long gone homies. I should probably close the door. Enjoy.

Photo Credit: Egotastic Archives