Alicia Vikander Be Raidin’ Tombs in New ‘Tomb Raider’ Trailer (VIDEO)

First things first, somebody's got to say it, EXTREME BICYCLING! WHOOOOOOA! Just in case you've forgotten, Alicia Vikander has an Academy Award for playing dress up with fancy lad Eddie Redmayne in The Danish Girl. Memo to the Academy, she deserved that award for Ex Machina—by the way, that'll be an excerpt in my upcoming book "Memo to the Academy: A Life Spent Shouting into a Vacuum."

Anyways, Alicia Vikander's great and a perfect choice to play Lara Croft in the upcoming Tomb Raider reboot. She's basically on the exact same career trajectory as Angelina Jolie, she's just infinitely more... what's the word I'm looking for? Grounded, probably. She doesn't go around with a vial of blood from her hillbilly husband around her neck, if you know what I mean. Man, did Angelina have a thing for rednecks or what?

Once again, I digress, mostly because there's nothing going on in this trailer. Walton Goggins is playing the EXACT same character he's played in everything he's been in outside of Sons of Anarchy. The movie's being directed by a guy named Roar. The two points I will give them, outside of Vikander's casting, are for not forcing a love interest on our heroine and casting Dominic West as her dead dad. Brilliant use of Dominic West, honestly. First time since The Wire I feel he's perfectly cast.

Tomb Raider opens in North America on March 16, one week after A Wrinkle in Time, a week before Pacific Rim: Uprising, and two weeks before Ready Player One. It'll be all but forgotten by the time Infinity War opens in May.