Alec Baldwin Goes From Punch In The Face To Slap On The Wrist

Beware of Alec Baldwin whenever you want to park in spot closest to the business you wish to patronize. The man has become something of an urban legend. Those golden parking spots open to everyone who’s legs aren’t on permanent unemployment, right next to the handicap holy grail spaces, belong to Baldwin. If you don’t believe it, Alec’s fists will change your mind. He’s pled guilty to handing out an ass whooping to an unlucky pedestrian. And as a result, there’s anger management in Alec’s future.

The hotheaded thespian appeared Wednesday morning in a Manhattan courtroom, where he agreed to the district attorney's recommendation that he attend a short anger management program as part of his plea. The D.A. also said at the hearing that they were able to go over video and complaints and that given Baldwin, 60, didn't have a criminal record, they recommended a violation charge of harassment in the second degree. Baldwin will also have to pay a mandatory surcharge of $120 and provide proof of payment and completion of the anger management courses by March 27. Photographs and video of the incident will be destroyed by matter of law.

Leaving Alec in charge of supervising his own anger is a bad idea. He needs a mandatory court ordered handler if he’s losing his shit over parking. I can’t fathom how horrible it is being on the receiving end of Alec’s wrath when he’s forced to talk to someone in customer service after discovering an error. Accidentally double charging Baldwin for his monthly Netflix subscription is a death wish. Good luck to anyone that has to cross paths with a 60-year-old willing to utilize Tiger Schulmann’s karate on unsuspecting civilians over something as trivial as a parking spot.