Abigail Ratchford Owns the Internet With Curves Galore

Social media will be the downfall of civilization. But on our way down the sinkhole, we're not going gently into the goodnight. We're going leering at the luscious images of such world class amazing hotties as my common law wife Abigail Ratchford.

Evolution probably has yet to start creating women specifically for the purposes of dominating digital media selfies, but then Abigail has adapted well ahead of the curve. Or curves. The revealing ridiculously sextastic showoff takes to Instagram to remind everybody what really sells on social media. It's people screaming at one another or spectacularly tingle inducing women like Abigail mostly naked.

If you're still deciding which you prefer, we probably can't be friends. Abigail, call me. We need to plan our common law anniversary. It's our second, which is the tin anniversary. That's when I clang a cup and beg you to let me motorboat the stuffing right out of you. So damn hot. Enjoy.

_{Photo Credit: @abigailratchford / Instagram}