CBS wants Charlie Sheen back at work

The reason that some people think Hollywood only cares about money is because Hollywood only cares about money, and so with that in mind, CBS President Les Moonves is reportedly trying to find a way to get Charlie Sheen back to work on Two and a Half Men, despite the fact that he's an unstable and violent lunatic. But Moonves has a plan; just ignore it.

(Moonves) is ready, willing, and able to forgive and forget all of Sheen's recent antics and continue broadcasting the series.
Moonves has been speaking directly with top execs at Warner Bros. Television (and) 'Men' co-creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre.
"Moonves wants to get the show back on the air. He's all for it. He says certain people need to forget anything and everything Charlie's done recently and just move on with the business at hand.
"The core issue is, as he put it, the volatile relationship between Charlie Sheen and Chuck Lorre. He believes that if CBS and Warner Bros. TV honchos can find a way to get Chuck and Charlie to speak again, cooler heads will prevail."

Yeah Sheen seems pretty rational, so I'm sure this can all be worked out. Just go over to his house, he's probably out back with a red striped shirt and patch over his eye, ready to launch a homemade rocket so he can be an outer space pirate, but if you hurry he can be back in the office by Wednesday.