Kim Kardashian Got A Phone Call From President Trump While Nude And Other Fairly Stupid Tales

Kim Kardashian really stretches her modeling prowess to resemble a jizz-filled sex doll for a new nude shoot in Richardson Magazine. Shocking transformation. Like when Emma Stone plays a bitch in one of her movies. Crazy. In addition to almost showing her nips on the magazine's cover, in another pic Kardashian bends over to release a jizz bubble into the bathtub - revealing her ass crack in the process. The shoot from photographer Steven Klein supposedly pays homage to Japanese animated adult thriller "Perfect Blue," which could explain why Kardashian looks like someone dressed as slutty girl from The Grudge for Halloween.

But the real news today is the accompanying Richardson interview, in which Kardashian reminds us of her political affiliations with President Trump. To convey her delicate balance of porn and politics, Kim even states:

I'm doing a nude shoot and my phone rings, and it's the President of the United States. And I'm like, 'Okay, hold on, does somebody have a robe?' I think he's about to give me some really exciting information about Alice Johnson. So then having to have that conversation, and then having to call her ... I think Steven Klein literally wanted to kill me because I was just so focused on my phone and it was a two-day shoot.

I'm just like, so fucking important. Deciphering the following queef fest from Kim is above my pay grade, so I'm just going to let Armenian Erin Brockovich speak for herself. On crying over the president's call but not wanting to ruin her cute af smokey eye:

I did, but we literally spent three hours in hair and makeup, and I had this crazy eye with glitter and smoke, and I'm holding my tears back, like, 'Don’t cry! Don’t cry!

On if you can be "both sex goddess and the mother of children":

I absolutely think you can. I was somebody who gained sixty or seventy pounds in my pregnancies and felt so unlike myself and so unsexy. Literally, at the end, when you can't even have sex, I thought, 'I'’m never going to have sex again in my life!' I just felt so bad about myself in my soul. The internet was making fun of me, comparing me to whales! Shamu and I were in a 'Who wore it better?'-side by side. I didn't lose weight that quickly. But I'd say eight months later I had probably my best body ever.

On being more conservative than her sex tape would suggest:

It's actually funny, at home I'm much more conservative than my public persona is. My public persona is wild, sexual. But I'm actually uncomfortable when I talk about sex, and I'm more conservative when it comes to that. But I'm vain like that. I can go on a set and be fully naked in front of fifty people doing a shoot, but if I'm one on one, intimate in bed, I'm like shy and insecure. I definitely have two different personalities like that. But I think motherhood has actually made me more confident about being publicly sexy.

And, when asked about the aftermath of her sex tape, on being like, a fucking victor:

Everyone deals with things differently, and I seem to deal with things -- whether the sex tape, the robbery, even the death of my dad, who was the most important person in my life -- I push to just overcome it. I just don't have a victim mentality. That's never been my personality. I've always been like, the victor, I can get past this, and this will not define me.

Head HERE for the NSFW pics

Photo Credit: Richardson / Instagram 

[The issue can be yours for $35 here]