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Sam Robeson - November 16, 2018
Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham are both riding the same wave of ugly girl popularity. The main thing that they have in common - that they also have in common with all ugly chick for some weird reason - is that they're always sick. You know the type of chick. She constantly posts updates on her health. While ironically all her friends want her to die. Go to your Instagram and find the ugliest chick you can think of. She's posting about being sick right now. How do I know that? Because she's Amy Schumer.
Schumer's doppelganger Dunham posted a bush-forward hospital selfie a month ago, and a couple weeks after that, opened up about her addiction to anti-anxiety medication. Schumer posted a hospital selfie in April, opening up about her kidney infection. Now that the pregnant Schumer is in her second trimester, she's posting from the hospital again:
Texas I am so deeply sorry. I have been really looking forward to these shows. I have to reschedule. I am in the hospital. I’m fine. Baby’s fine but everyone who says the 2nd trimester is better is not telling the full story. I’ve been even more ill this trimester. I have hyperemesis and it blows. Very lucky to be pregnant but this is some bullshit! Sending so much love to the doctors and nurses taking great care of me and Tati! They are cool as hell! And Texas I am really really sorry and I’ll be out there as soon as I’m better.
The high she gets from the hundreds of get-well-soon <3 comments will eventually dissipate. And then we'll get another hospital scare. The social media lifecycle of an ugly chick. I actually know an ugly chick who got skin removal surgery on her arms and legs after gastric bypass. She constantly updates people on the progress of her massive scars. And all I can think is that she looks like an actual monster. Ya know? Let's head to the comments and share stories of ugly chicks.
Photo Credit: Instagram / MEGA / Backgrid USA
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