Dolph Lundgren Rides a Giant Sea Horse and Other Nonsense Things Happen on New ‘Aquaman’ Posters

James Wan is one of those directors who has enough style and visual flair as to make almost anything he decides to do worth watching—except that ventriloquist movie, don't see that. As stupid as the notion of an Aquaman movie sounds, the fact that Wan is directing it makes it slightly more appealing than your average superhero movie.

But man does it look dumb. Take a look at this poster...

Conceivably come late December, you could double feature Dolph Lundgren movies. In one of them, he returns to the role that made him famous and in the other, he wears a funny helmet, has a ridiculous crepe hair van dyke, and rides a giant sea horse. If you ever thought you'd live long enough to see such a glorious day, you're probably lying through your teeth.

There's all manner of ridiculous things happening on all of these posters, so let's dig in. Next up is Willem Dafoe's Vulko, a role he was cast in by Zack Snyder for the Justice League movie. All of his scenes were cut there, but we'll get to see him top-knotting it in this flick...

Then there's Patrick Wilson, playing his second DC Universe character following Nite Owl in Watchmen, and it sure looks like he's having a lot of fun, likely because he's not playing a diddler or a philandering husband for once...

You've got to hand it to Nicole Kidman. She held off on re-joining the DC Universe for 23 years and this is what she chose to follow-up her role as Chase Meridian in Joel Schumacher's awful Batman Forever. I will go to my grave insisting that's the worst Batman movie. I'd rather watch Batman & Robin a hundred times than ever watch Batman Forever again. But I digress...

You can check out the rest below, they're nothing to dissect or write home about. Aquaman swims into theaters on December 21, the same day as Bumblebee and Mary Poppins Returns.