Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: ‘Christmas Shopper Simulator’ Tries to Out-Crap ‘Goat Simulator’

Christmas shopping, you're an asspain. It's like one long, festive Black Friday, with twinkly lights and jangly music.

You know how it is: your urchins have both demanded some fancy-ass robot thing that screeches, flashes and shoots missiles. Just the thing to soothe your holiday hangovers. Your better half has been heavily hinting about wanting something shelf-y or closet-y for the kitchen or bathroom or... whatever she was saying. They'll be the kind of DIY projects that'll keep you swearing through instructions printed only in Swahili until next Christmas, you can bet your balls on that.

As a gender, we aren't great at the whole gift-buying thing at the best of times. The holidays just add an extra dose of ballache to it all.

Freakstorm Games feels our pain, and brings us the piss-takey PC release Christmas Shopper Simulator. We all know that Internet shopping in your undercrackers is cheating, so here's all the fun of the mall: falling on your ass, knocking others onto their asses, looking at trees and turning left. It's useless, it's freaking weird but it's intentionally awful, so that makes it okay. Check out the game in action after the jump.

Via Kotaku.