New Dolph Lundgren Flick Is Tender Story About Zombies and the Zombie-Killing Robots Who Kill Them

For reasons I do not fully understand, Dolph Lundgren's latest flick did not get a theatrical release in the United States. Sure, it doesn't look like a particularly "good" movie in terms of acting, writing, or even special effects. But the thing is called Battle of the Damned—a title so awesome it's hard to believe it hasn't been used before—and it's about robots killing zombies.

Call me a cinematic philistine, but I'd take Dolph Lundgren, zombies, and robots over Citizen Kane any day.

In any case, in Battle of the Damned Dolph plays some sort of mercenary-slash-bounty hunter hired by a rich guy to rescue his daughter from a quarantined zombie-zone that's about to be incinerated. Dolph sneaks into the zombie-zone and finds the daughter easily enough, but getting out is another story...until they happen upon a merry band of robots that they hack and turn into zombie-killing soldiers. Whose robots are they? How do the humans hack them and reprogram them if they are so strong? That doesn't matter because ROBOTS KILLING ZOMBIES.

Obviously, this would have been amazing on the big screen. However, like I said, you're just going to have to settle for Blu-Ray. It comes out on February 18, 2014.