Where the Fuck Did My Apocalypse Go????

Well, 12/21/12 came and went without any kind of bang, and speaking personally, I'm kind of pissed that I now need to pay my back rent, stop my end of the world Dennison's Chili-only diet, and explain to my girlfriend why I may have possibly felt up her sister at the family holiday party. Tons of stuff I was figuring I could slough off until after the earth exploded. But, now, no such luck.

Even less lucky is our writer Jack Tomas, so sure of the Mayan Apocalypse, that he has spent the last four months buried in his bunker. Now, it's all gone. Dreams of death and destruction vanished right before his eyes. See how he's handling reality in the final installment of Dispatches from the Apocalypse. Enjoy.