Gaming’s Whacked-Out Week: Women in Their Skimpies and Fapping, That Time-Honored Combination

Not in the causal link, MA! Why do you never knock when I've got my bollocks in my hand sense (she was always there with a freezer-fresh metal spoon to smite our nutsacks with, bless her. She could sense any transgressions and stop them as abruptly as the Spanish Inquisition; it was her own masturbatory superpower. Or would have been, if this anecdote wasn't entirely fictitious. This did not happen. Six times a day). It's simply the lewdness, crudeness, rudeness and must-readiness of the week's gaming shenanigans.

To amuse, arouse and delight in this installment (your experiences may vary, no refunds will be offered), a young lady runs through a tenebrous forest in her panties in Until Dawn, heralded by Kotaku as ‘Teen Horror as a PS3 Game.' It's safe to venture that boobs and blood will predominately feature, so we're on board.

Elsewhere, a dim-witted dude/onanist pauses during his live-streaming gaming marathon for a porntacular wanking interlude. Neglecting to cease the recording before indulging in the solo genital-wrestling bout. The egg, as we're sure you'll attest, was on his face (and the freshly-squeezed man-juice was on his hand, presumably). Hit the gallery for all this, plus a dancing octopus courtesy of Nintendo.

Hit Kotaku for more on Until Dawn and masturbationgate.

Destructoid is your host for more on Nintendo Land's dancing octopus.