Saudi Arabia Says Letting Women Drive Will Lead to More Divorces. I Say It Will Lead to More Fender Benders

According to the academics at Saudi Arabia's highest religious council, allowing women to drive would lead to 'no more virgins and in increase in homosexuality.' The study continues to infer that a woman behind the wheel should be illegal because permitting it would mean 'no more virgins left in the Arab kingdom in 10 years' and 'more pornography would be used if women were allowed on the roads and rates of prostitution and divorce would alo rise.'

So that's why the Saudi's don't want to lift a ban that prohibits women from driving. Fellas...I get it. No one wants to tell their girlfriend they suck at driving. It's not something you can say to their face. You'll think of just about any excuse to not want to get in a car with a woman driving. They don't know what the hell they're doing. Sometimes I spike my girlfriend's orange juice just to raise her blood alcohol level so she has to give me her keys. She's the only person I know to ever get pulled over for reckless driving with a bumper car.

But most girls I know break down into tears when they ask me if I like their eye make-up and hesitate one moment too long. They're fragile, emotional beings who have trouble hearing the truth when it's something judgmental. So telling them flat out that they can't drive is more dangerous than playing Russian Roulette by yourself.

So sure, blame the loss of virgins on women driving. Do anything to keep them off the road. Because I don't want to be driving through the desert and get slammed by some woman in a Volkswagen Beetle who changed lanes without looking.  

Will letting woman drive lead to more homosexuals and a higher rate of divorce and less virgins? Yes, only because I guarantee a woman will rear-end a bus carrying all the members of the Gay Rights More Divorce Away With Virgins party on the way to their annual political convention. So until women just accept the fact that they're bad behind the wheel, men will have to think of absolutely batshit reasons to keep them off the road.

You can accuse me of being misogynistic by accusing women of being crummy drivers but too emotional to hear that themselves, but what you really should be accusing me of is being racist because you don't even want to hear what I think of Asian women drivers.