Unless There’s a Heidi Montag Sex Tape, I Don’t Care Anymore

So, here's the thing about Heidi Montag. Nobody likes her, she's really annoying, and she doesn't actually do anything. Except, apparently, wear bikinis for the guys at Pacific Coast News to take pictures of her in staged "paparazzi" bikini photoshoots, that might hopefully make her famous, or at the very least get her in nude Playboy magazine.

So basically, what we've got is a cuter, less famous Paris Hilton with much bigger (fake) breasts, but without the only thing that would actually make her worth caring about: A sex tape. On the plus side, at least that means there's no sex tape with that douchebag boyfriend of her's in it.

And speaking of sex tapes, what the hell ever happened to that Lauren Conrad sex tape? I don't care how racist it is, I want to see Lauren Conrad naked, damn it!

Now if only we could get Lauren and Heidi to kiss and make up...

Photo credit: Pacific Coast News