On The Looming Clown Shortage

Several national clowning organizations are worried over the growing shortage of clowns. That's is good news for those of us that suffer from coulrophobes that are terrified the painted demons. It seems that less and less young people are interested in going into clowning. Instead they want to do things like go to college and have normal productive lives. The president of Clowns of America explains that people are waiting until they are older and their lives have officially failed to don the horrifying faces of my nightmares,

"Young people go on to high school and college and clowning isn't cool anymore. Clowning is then put on the back burner until their late 40s and early 50s."

Wow, friggin' high school is too high falooting for these people. It also doesn't help that clowns don't make that much money. The average birthday clown only makes $300 per party and the work is sporadic. Even the big leagues of the major circuses are becoming more selective about who they let in. It's not enough to simply slink out of a dark hell hole and go buy a Ben Nye kit and call themselves a clown. I've always wondered what exactly you get taught at clown school? Besides how to scare the living dog crap out of kids. I imagine it's like a Satanic finishing school. Eating babies for the Dark Lord 101.