Chupacabra Spotted In Houston Neighborhood

El Chupacabra is back and was spotted in the Memorial neighborhood of Houston, TX. I'm from Houston and I can tell you that the last place I would expect a Chupacabra is Memorial. It's a pretty affluent neighborhood full of upper-middle class moms in yoga pants and babies in $1200 strollers. Usually the Chupacabra hangs out in rural areas and trailer parks. Clearly El Chupacabra is no longer happy to feast on the blood of sheep and goats. He wants to eat expensive designer dogs. That's the only thing that makes sense. Chupacabra must have taken a liking to puggles, golden doodles, and pure bred little rat dogs. The authorities in Houston think that people are crossbreeding exotic pets with dogs. Like, some weird African hyena creature and a German shepherd or whatever. But we all know that they are vampiric aliens from the planet Umacron-5.

So, please keep your expensive foofy pets inside, El Chupacabra is going to cost you $3000 if you don't.