When ‘Pokémon Go’ Becomes Pokémon Hell Freaking No: Check Out This Terrifying Chinese Knockoff

  I feel a little like I’m repeating myself here, like a senile ol’ dude who can’t remember which of his children he’s talking to (and I’ll tell you another thing, Alice/Emily/Chloe/Michael). Thing is, though, this has to be said over and over: Pokémon Go, huh? Pokémon effing Go.  

Here in the spangly new world of 2016, we should be used to this sort of thing. Used to 8-year-olds with iPhones. Used to 88-year-olds with tablets. It’s just the sheer extent of the game’s domination that’s worrying. We’ve seen Flappy Bird, Angry Bird and shite like that before, but this is on a whole new level.

As such, it’s understandable that the whole world would want to get in on the action. In some countries, alas, Pokémon Go is banned, what with privacy concerns and such gubbins. With this comes terrible knock-offs. Terrible, scrote-shrivelingly horrifying knock-offs.

Over China way, this abomination was born. It’s supposedly a game that teaches you the proper way to catch Pokémon in the mega-popular app. They can’t use the ‘mon’s official designs, natch, hence the hideous beasts from the depths of the Devil’s ass you see before you:

Snorlax, buddy. Listen to me. Sure, you’re my favorite and all, but… what the hell’s happened to you? Do we need to have an intervention with your hairy-assed bear parents?

Via The Next Web.