When My Selena Baby Smiles at Me, I Ogle Her In Rio

Oh, Selena Gomez, when, oh, when, can we finally be rid of your teen lesbian boyfriend who smells like old cotton candy and finally be together, out in the open, unashamed of the shameful things we obviously will be doing to each other in the dark?

This plan is perhaps still in the dream stages, but how can you not dream about Selena Gomez as she continues her little Latina hotness tour, now bouncing through Brazil, showing various signs that the girl has grown into a young woman. I'm not exactly sure who designed Selena's new showgirl costumes, but I most definitely want her to be wearing one under her trenchcoat as she arrives at the slip hosting my 11-foot dinghy. Just as long as she doesn't insist on listening to her own music, we will be more than fine. Enjoy.