Westboro Baptist Church will protest Sage Stallones funeral

Still grieving over the loss of his son who was discovered Friday after dying of an apparent accidental overdose of prescription medications, Sylvester Stallone released this statement:

"When a parent loses a child there is no greater pain ... This agonizing loss will be felt for the rest of our lives. Sage was our first child and the center of our universe and I am humbly begging for all to have my son's memory and soul left in peace."

The Westboro Baptist Church isn't gonna do that however, and instead they'll protest Sages funeral like they have hundreds of funerals before, mostly for American soldiers, with signs about how Sage deserved to die, it was all Sylvesters fault, and God hates them both. They've already tweeted all this:

- "So Westboro will picket Sage Stallone's funeral so Syl's other children will finally see some truth."
- "Tell @TheSlyStallone to mourn for his sins, not pimp out son's dead body to more proud sin!"
- "Whoring dad @TheSlyStallone selfishly drove him to mock God & to his death."
- "Adulterous dad brought wrath of God on son."
- "Thrice-married rebel taught his son to mock God."

Most of that stems from the book of Leviticus, which Westboro absolutely loves because it talks about hating gay people (Leviticus 20:13) and adultery. Far be it for me to question the theological study of inbred retards but in that same book God also says not to shave or cut your hair on the sides (Leviticus 19:27) or wear fabrics like polyester (Leviticus 19:19) and Westboro does all that. Clearly "they are in league with the Devil" and we should stone them (Leviticus 20:27) until they're new name is Westboro Baptist Church and Quarry.