Weird Crap They Sell On Amazon: “Liquid Ass”

Let's say you are at the office and the guy in the cubicle next to you makes a joke at your expense. You have several options: 1) You can take the Christian approach and keep quiet, 2) You can have a frank conversation, or 3) you can spray his cubicle with liquid ass. The correct answer is 3. What is liquid ass? I don't know. No one knows. It's a mystery controlled by the secret cabal that runs the liquid ass manufacturers. Basically, it's a concentrated stink bomb in a convenient spray bottle. The product description says,

"Once unleashed, this power-packed, super-concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt-crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo."

That's quite a selling point! You can just imagine the kind of hilarious situations that liquid ass can cause. Spray it at your ex-girlfriend's wedding and clear out the church. Set it off at your grandmother's funeral or cause a massive chain reaction of vomiting on an airplane. The air marshal is guaranteed to shoot you! Buy it here.