Weird Crap Sold On Coupon Sites: Realistic SexFlesh Dual Entry Bottom Stroker

Masturbation is a private thing between a man (or a woman) and themselves. It's a way of taking care of business without having to take anyone out to dinner first. I for one am a purest. All I need is my hand and some happy thoughts. I get why women have aids to help them when they dance with themselves but I've never really understood why men use props. It's like I feel that it takes too much commitment to invest in a sex toy specifically for masturbatory purposes. But Groupon seems to think all men want sex toys at a discount. But the one that takes the cake has to be the Realistic SexFlesh Dual Entry Bottom Stroker. 

What is it? Imagine the lower torso of a woman from behind. So it's basically a butt and a vagina made out of rubber. The holes are ribbed, you know like a real vagina, for maximum pleasure. The description says:

A full-molded, realistic skin torso with vagina and anus entries, textured ribbed tunnels, and open-ended design for cleaning. Small size makes for easier storage.

Storage is an issue in my mind. What if I die and my mom has to go through all my stuff and finds this severed rubber butt? I don't want to have to think about that. Just stick to your hands, guys. It leaves no evidence. Get it here. Ya perv.