Thursday afternoon headlines

LINDSAY LOHAN - had a friend distract the clerk at the jewelry store while she stole that necklace, according to the surveillance video. Maybe next time the distraction should be to disable the surveillance video. (radar)

THE HANGOVER 2 - has a teaser trailer, though it's only purpose is to remind you that people liked the first one and that Bradley Cooper is very very handsome. (apple)

KELLIE PICKLER - told Ellen Degeneres that she eloped because she and her fiance were planning their wedding and guest list when she realized, "Oh my God, I hate half these people." So if you know Kellie Pickler, there's a 50 percent chance she secretly hates you. (la times)

KARISSA SHANON - went to the beach in Malibu yesterday, after arranging with the paparazzi to meet her at the beach in Malibu. I've seen more spontaneity from models who were passed out as I took continuity pictures of their clothes to make sure I put them back on right. (pacific coast)