This Just In: Pokémon-Themed Lingerie is a Real Thing

  If there’s one thing video games have never pulled off too well, it’s sex. Remember Kratos’ awkward-ass press-x-to-thrust-while-the-camera-averts-its-eyes-and-shows-you-a-bedside-vase romp with Aphrodite in God of War 3? That wasn’t the most horntastic thing I ever saw, that’s for darn sure. Meanwhile, in The Sims, it’s called woohoo. I’ll say no more.  

Being ‘sexy’ in general is another thing games have always struggled with. Back in the nineties, Lara Croft and her big ol’ triangular titties (goddamn those things looked lethal) were the height of video game eroticism. We haven’t moved on very far since. Hatoful Boyfriend, that slice of Japanese weirdery in which you romance your chosen pigeon and make them your lover? Screw it. Screw it all.

So, anywho. With all of that in mind, the idea of gaming-themed lingerie is just a little too nutso for me. So, Pokemon-themed lingerie? From the family-friendly funsters at Nintendo themselves? Welcome to The Twilight Zone, gentlemen.

Yep. This is happening. It’s the twentieth anniversary of Pokemon this year, and the company have devised the best possible way to celebrate: Covering our ladyfolks’ cooches with Pikachus. Yummy Mart have collaborated with the Pokemon Company to bring the world… well, the picture above says it all really. There are more, less-skimpy items in the line, which you can check out over on Shack News.

I’m aroused, confused and a little distressed. But then it’s still quite early, and I wake every morning feeling that way anyway.