This Is Why We’re Fat: Bacon Scented Smartphone Plug-in

Do you like bacon? Do you have a smartphone? Do you wish that you could combine the two without getting your phone all greasy with pork fat? Well you are in luck, tubby! Scentee is a company out of Japan, ('natch), that created a plug-in that releases the cracklin' scent of bacon whenever you want! Simply install the smelly plastic plug-in in the headphone jack and press the app for a spritz of cancer causing bacon scented chemicals. The plug-in also releases other scents, but really all anyone cares about is the bacon setting. I like bacon as much as the next fat ass, but I'm pretty sick of the obsession with it. Every hipster in the world won't shut up about friggin' bacon. We get it, it's delicious and ironic at the same time. The other people this appeals to are the morbidly obese Wal-Mart denizens that can't go three minutes without smelling cooked pork. Either way, I'm against it.