Death By Urine and Enslaved Goblin Artists: The Worst Things Players Have Ever Done in ‘The Sims’

You might remember the slice of cult nineties PC gaming badassery that was Dungeon Keeper. This RTS title saw you carving out an evil underground empire, training up an army of hideous ugly-ass monsters to fight for you along the way. With said army, you'd mangle the goodly troops of knights, monks and fairies that invaded to stop you.

It remains one of my all-time favorite games, and just goes to prove the old adage: Sometimes, it's great to just be a big ol' bastard. Just because you can.

This idea is the whole reason for internet trolls' existence, and it's also at the root of these amazing stories from The Sims players. If you've played the legendary life sim before, you've probably been a bit of an ass yourself. Sending someone for a swim and deleting the pool's ladder so they die, getting them pissed and laughing as they crap themselves on the couch, that sort of thing. But that's got nothing on these guys.

Viralands has made a list of the best Sims player confessions from Ask Reddit, and they're solid gold. There's enough batshit for all, but here's my top three:

3. "I recently found out you can kill old Sims by overexertion in The Sims 4. My Sim is going around town f*cking all the old people to death and once Death shows up she proceeds to make friends with him. I'm counting up graves until my Sim can bang Death. I managed to get a ‘heat of the moment' kiss in on him after a few ‘accidental' deaths. I took a picture of it…"

2. "So, in my most recent Sims playthrough, I found this girl that I really wanted my Sim to marry. Problem is she already had a husband, so rather than just doing the (relatively) normal thing and just increasing the relationship and convincing her to break up with him, I instead became best friends with her husband, convinced him to move in with me, and then drowned him in a pool so I could marry his wife.Then I moved in with his wife (who lived in a HUGE mansion) and killed the rest of her family because I didn't feel like taking care of the other Sims that she lived with but I still wanted the house."

1. "My teenage son decide waking up to his alarm and getting on the school bus was unimportant, so I locked him in a 1×1 room until he peed himself and died in the puddle."

This is some great stuff, right here. That second one sounds like a plotline from a shitty Romanian soap opera. Hit the link for the rest.