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GAMING
chris-littlechild - October 31, 2014
Nintendo, as we know, is the home of family friendly funtimes. It's all toontastic bright colors and rainbows shining from everyone's assholes and all of that good stuff. Or so we've been led to believe. Somewhere behind the scenes, there's a mad, mad bastard insidiously adding the creeptastic to their games.
That disturbing temple in Ocarina of Time? Super Mario Galaxy's unexplained-yet-crap-your-pants-creepy lurking shadow ghost pervs? They're all here, and they're all damn weird. But none more so than... Mr. Resetti. Hold on to your undercrackers, he's here for the Halloween edition of The Weekly WTF.
This guy appears in Animal Crossing, otherwise among the most harmless games series you ever saw. It's a cutesy little life sim, so saccharine-sweet that it could rot your damn teeth if someone ten blocks away was playing. It's all about collecting assorted crap, decorating your house and making friends with the tutu-wearing gorilla next door.
Everybody else in the village is an anthropomorphic animal of some sort, you see. I should probably have led with that.
Anywho, yes. A freaking tortoise is the mayor, a raccoon runs the local store (and a chiselling bastard he is too) and there are two porcupine tailors. Which is probably screwy enough already. But you haven't seen anything yet. Mr. Resetti is a mole, dwelling ‘neath the ground most of the time. He emerges rarely, to UTTERLY WRECK YOUR SHIT.
Animal Crossing has none of this newfangled auto-save business. You have to damn well select ‘save' from the menu, and then confirm with another button press. This kind of ball-busting effort may (may) kill you, but you'd better go through with the rigmarole. Because if you quit the game without saving, the mole will bitch at you like you've never been bitched at before.
Upon loading up the game again, he'll pop up outside your house. Correction: he'll pop up like an avenging demon, a hairy little ballistic missile full of hatred and furious ranting. Many an urchin has probably been given nightmare by Mr. Resetti, and those endless darn tirades of his. In Animal Crossing's rather camp, serene world, this raging mofo is the last thing you expect to see. It's all quite unsettling.
Check him out in action. Even dear ol' ma couldn't rant like that.
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