The French Are Horrible Fucking People

Pamela Anderson is a drunk ho cake but nothing so vile as the horrible people of France. The frog like turtleneck wearing people have cruelly derided Anderson's visit to France to discuss that nation's obsession with force tube feeding fowl to achieve an expensive fatty liver spread for baguettes that tastes just like liverwurst. Anderson isn't even American, she's Canadian, but she's fucked enough of the lower forty-eight that she counts as one of our own.

Members of the French Parliament started talking shit when they heard Anderson was visiting their illustrious body where many famous surrenders have taken place throughout history. The French ever feel obliged to be outraged and cunty:

"I'm totally indifferent to her. To me she represents everything I dislike including the superficial ... she does no honour to the institution I am privileged to have a seat in." -- Gay annoying French guy

I don't know Pamela Anderson, I've never seen Baywatch, and I don't believe her coming here will add much to the parliamentary debate.  -- Lying gay annoying French guy

The farmers who force feed the birds were particularly French, implying that anybody who paid attention to Anderson preferred "birds inflated with silicon to the fine geese filled with the corn of the Landes and the Périgord" Here's an idea. Fuck the Landes. As for the Perigord, fuck that too.

This is all seems rather dramatic. The Russkies let Pamela Anderson into the Kremlin last month and quietly listened to her drone about whale hunting they will never stop while they mentally undressed her. And mentally dressed Putin who started fucking Anderson mid-presentation while on horseback carrying a shotgun because he's Putin and he's one bad ass motherfucker and does shit that would make Obama cry.

That cliche bit about France being our oldest ally is some bullshit line politicians like to say when trying to make people care what happens to France who for their part hate our guts. I'm not buying it. You're not good enough for Pamela Anderson. That's a low fucking bar. Take our un-vetted Syrian refugees and we might call it even.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet