The Angriest Whopper Will Annihilate Your Colon

Burger King is on a one way mission to give you painful bowel movements. Who can forget culinary abominations like the Black Burger and their frightening hot dog? Those things give me nightmares. But now they've come out with something they call The Angriest Whopper. While other Whoppers may be angry, this Whopper is friggin' furious. What makes it so terrifying? 

"Flame-grilled beef, piled high with thick-cut bacon, American cheese, iceberg lettuce, tomatoes, crispy onion petals, jalapeños, creamy mayonnaise and spicy angry sauce. Topped off by fiery red bun that has hot sauce baked in."

That's why the bun is a Satanic red color. This is a burger you eat when you've given up hope. That or you are a masochist who likes flaming poops. I for one don't want my food to be mad at me.