Taco Bell Cheetos Burrito Will Kill You

I'm not exactly the poster boy for health but I generally try to eat right. When you get to be a certain age you have to start worrying about this stuff. When I was younger I would eat all kinds of fast food garbage that at my age now would kill me. Case in point is Taco Bell's latest attempt to destroy Mexican cuisine: the Cheetos Burrito. It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a Taco Bell burrito stuffed with Cheetos, beef, nacho cheese sauce, beans, and rice. It is what you eat when you've given up on life. It's like a big middle finger to your arteries. Eating it is a defiant act against life itself. It's like you are daring your heart to keep working. Your stomach will hate you after eting this and will exact its revenge with explosive diarrhea before you even leave the Taco Bell. This thing should come with a pair of adult diapers.

It's just in the test stages to see if they want to sell it nationwide. Hopefully, enough people will be hospitalized with bowel problems and despair that they will decide not to sell it.