Sony Are Working On A Mysterious PlayStation 4.5… Apparently

  Early adopters of consoles are brave, brave bastards indeed. They’re kinda like firefighters. Except, y’know, instead of charging into burning buildings and risking their lives for someone’s chihuahua, they’re risking a fair amount of cashtacular on something that will inevitably be redesigned in sexier form. That analogy totally works.  

Xbox, in the past, was a bit of a shitstorm in that sense. Release day buyers took the full force of the Red Ring of Death epidemic straight to the gonads, and a bad time was had by all. Well, not all, but certainly some. Elsewhere, early adopters have gotten themselves lumbered with a huge, ugly, chunky-ass console before the sexy slim version hit. The horror.

PS4 and Xbox One have been doing the rounds for a couple years now. They’re like, so 2014, girlfriend. It’s probably about time for a revision. Feast your eyes on the supposed PlayStation 4.5.

Not too much is known about this announcement thus far. Sources only offer the following:

‘Sony is currently planning a new version of the PS4 with increased graphical power and games running at 4K resolution. We don’t know whether current PS4 owners will be able to upgrade or if they’ll have to buy an entirely new device to benefit from this power boost, but from what we hear, Sony has started briefing developers.  Based on conversations with developers who have spoken with Sony, this ‘PS4.5’ will include an upgraded GPU both to support high-end 4K resolution for games and add more processing power that can enhance the games supported by PlayStation VR, the headset Sony will launch this fall. It’s unclear if ‘PS4.5’ is an official name or just a nickname that developers have been using.’

Intriguing. No dates or anything thus far, but color me interested. Maybe it’ll have a button that sends 10,000,000 volts down the internet at any online player who’s being an asshole. Maybe it’ll have an attachment that pleasures your lady right, before she sleeps with your neighbour Brian, the tennis coach with the shit mustache, like she’s been wanting to because you’re inadequate. Maybe it's just a rumor. Who the hell knows? I don’t. Nothing official from Sony yet, beyond the usual ‘no comment,’ but there it is.