Someone May Be Attempting To Kill Kris Jenner

All we have to do is look at history to see that all great leaders are subject to assassination at some point. Julius Caesar, a dagger to the back. John F. Kennedy, a bullet to the brain. Kris Jenner, possible poisoning. Or at least that’s what she believes. She has built an empire, and currently lives cushy in a castle in Hidden Hills. Contrary to her appearance, Kris is not as dumb as she looks. She knows that she’s on a lot of people’s shit list. Wouldn’t you want to rid the world of the woman who opened the Pandora’s box between her legs and let out Kim Kardashian?

On this Sunday's upcoming episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Kris Jenner will be concerned that someone wants her dead.

In a sneak peek at the overly-scripted action to come, Kris is in her kitchen with embattled daughter Kourtney Kardashian, informing her oldest child that she isn't feeling well...

... and she thinks her drinking water may be to blame. She tests the water for contaminants.

"I know you're extra a lot of the time, but this is above and beyond extra," Kim Kardashian tells her mother in a joint confessional at one point.

But Kris it not deterred.

She drops some stuff into her water and also into Kourtney's water, shakes up the samples and determines that hers reads 7.2, while the other vial reads 8.2.

This means, ummm.... something, she guesses.

"Well exactly, what does it mean is the question," Kris wonders aloud, asking Kourtney for the "ideal" number the water ought to be.

"Seven point six. So yours is seven point two," Kourtney replies in a truly fascinating scene.

It saddens me that I’m not shocked about Kris believing someone is trying to kill her with water contaminants. I’m pretty sure she quadruple Brita filters water directly flown in from glaciers and icebergs. But for some reason she feels like her water quality is that of a Flint, Michigan resident. Forget first-world problems, Jenner has other-world problems. This woman is on her own planet. And if her complaining about H20 is considered entertainment, Keeping Up with The Kardashians is overdue for cancellation.

Photo Credit: Kourtney Kardashian from Getty Images / Instagram