Sheen Shiny Clean An Entire Year

There’s no token given out for surviving the deadliest catch every year. But that still doesn’t deter Charlie Sheen from staying positive. HIV positive. After unprotected hook ups with sketchy hookers got old, he got himself a few brand new vices called drinking and drug abuse just so he could kick those habits and score a cool new one year sobriety coin. It’s honestly the last award he’ll probably ever receive for that decaying enigma that is entitled "his life." Maybe they should try the same approach for society’s other losers like domestic abusers, or people who pick fights with strangers on the internet. Why should habitual drunks have all the perks? I believe every celebrity that hasn’t hit their wife for a full 365 days deserves a replica Chuckie Cheese token in honor of their stoical patience. Kanye doesn’t do much right these days, but waking up next to Kim Kardashian and not fulfilling the urge to Stone Cold Stunner her face through the nightstand is damn impressive.

Charlie Sheen earned his one-year chip.

On Tuesday, the 53-year-old actor announced on Twitter that he’s been sober for one year. He shared a picture of his chip and wrote, “so, THIS happened yesterday!”

He added, “a fabulous moment, in my renewed journey. #TotallyFocused.”

There’s nothing to celebrate about a year of not doing drugs and drinking. Honestly, sobriety is pretty overrated. I’m pretty sure even the Lord said there’s a time and place for everything as long as it’s in moderation. Maybe Sheen can do a beer here and there and then look for a rehab that would curb his addiction of patting himself on the back.

Photo Credit: Charlie Sheen's Goddesses from Getty Images / Backgrid USA