‘Resident Evil 7’ Has More Befuddling Trailer Action For Us

  Okay, Resident Evil. We’ve had a good run, you and I, but I can’t go on like this. I’m bringing your ma and pa, grandma and pet lizard, and we’re having an intervention. We’re only doing this because we love you, Resident Evil, and we’re a lil’ worried about you. This actiontastic Arnold Schwarzenegger obsession you’ve developed has to stop.  

Crazy-assery aside, I’m just trying to find new ways to say something I’ve said many times: the daddy of the survival horror genre has been in a sorry state of late. I do think Resident Evil 4 was a modern classic, I have to say, but we’ve been sledging down Shit Mountain into a landfill site full of crappy diapers and used condoms ever since. Resident Evils 5 and 6 were increasingly terrible, in my view.

As such, series fans are nervous as hell about the upcoming Resident Evil 7. Capcom haven’t told us too much about what’s coming, but it’s clear that this is going to another hell of a shake up. First-person Evil, gents. First-person Evil with a whole new cast.

Still, the glass is half full. This one hits January 24, 2017, so there’s plenty of time for it to… not suck ass. Slim as the chance might be. Let’s open our minds, and take an ogle at this fresh new gameplay trailer. It’s a found footage affair set in a Ye Olde plantation house, and a good showcase for the whole stealth-over-combat thing the game’s got going on.