Rachel Uchitel Banged Tiger and Banged Jeter and Now Has a Banging Bikini Body

To be fair, Rachel Uchitel has always claimed to merely be the friendly pimp for famous sports celebrities, not the object d' booty knocking, though rumors have it she got a little something something for herself in the process. Like, a bazillion smackeroos, according to our friends at TMZ (10 Million Reasons Tiger Was Afraid of Rachel). But, now, that's all in the past as Rachel has moved on to working her bikini body for some new boyfriend who ultimately must be asking Rachel if he's better in the sack than Tiger Woods and better than Derek Jeter, which just seems far too complicated, despite Rachel's new found fortune and still slamming body. Hell, I get upset when my girlfriend reminds me that her former boyfriend wasn't just a clerk at Foot Locker, he was an assistant manager. Imaging dating a girl who's been boot knocking with the worlds greatest professional athletes. Meh. I'd rather just sit back in the La-Z-Boy and ogle on this one. Enjoy.