Pippa!

There's a new name for lust in this town, well, in London town, and her name is Pippa Middleton. I call 'first!'. Tall and tan and young and lovely (oh, and rich and the sister of the future queen), Pippa Middleton really is going to get a lot of fussy British royal watchers on her case, not to mention get a few of their husbands busted big time for checking out her backside (as in the photo above; sorry, dude, you're nailed). Still, the only proper saving grace is for me to make a proper woman out of Pippa, unfurl my catapult into her intimate castle keep, and enjoy a life of grog and many wenches whilst Pippa shops for lingerie at Harrod's. So it is is written, so let it be done. Enjoy.