Paris Jackson – The B*tch Is Black

Anyone with eyeballs knows that Paris Jackson is super duper black, and it really is baffling that she wasn't cast in the blockbuster Black Panter. Because she's so black. I mean wow. Blackkkkk. JK. She's not black. Sorry world. I don't know what to tell you. She's boring and white. Michael Jackson's definitely biological daughter proves that if Rachel Dolezol had played her cards right she could have indeed been African American, because while Paris is considered to be a person of color, that color is actually bronzer. Paris is woke. Rachel Dolezal exploited black culture. Get it straight people.

The same heckler who allegedly got the shit beaten out of him near the Met Gala by Cardi B's team (a story that I'm not writing up because I refuse to believe Cardi B is actually famous or a person) barked at Jackson as she walked to a car outside the Carlyle Hotel in her best Met Gala after party African Jem and the Holograms lewk. The man encouraged Jackson to "Stay black" - prompting her to raise her fist in solidarity. Interestingly, the closed fist also represents the 0% black that Paris is. I see what she did there. In 2017 Jackson told Rolling Stone:

I consider myself Black. [Dad] would look me in the eyes and he'd point his finger at me and he'd be like, 'You're Black. Be proud of your roots. And I'd be like, 'OK, he's my dad. Why would he lie to me?' So I just believe what he told me. 'Cause, to my knowledge, he's never lied to me.

Wasn't "I consider myself Black" literally Dolezal's platform? Anyway, sure, Paris Jackson is black. Cardi B isn't a random crack whore. The Olsen twins look stunning. Whatever.

Photo Credit: Paris Jackson / Instagram / Pacific Coast News