Padma Lakshmi Double Dipped

Viewers of Bravo's Top Chef know that tall drink of Indian Yoo-hoo, Padma Lakshmi, carries herself with elegance, grace, and an unmistakable air of smug superiority. Look at my scar, bitches. You know you still want to fuck me. Damn, that's so true.

In her new memoir, Lakshmi admits to not knowing who the father of her child was when she was pregnant. Because she's classier and more refined than you. She was dating two men at the same time. And by dating, I mean screwing various billionaires. That paternity test would've made an episode of Maury worth watching.

Lakshmi was trapped for eight years in what one can only assume was a sexless relationship with live-action troll and fatwa-recipient, Salman Rushdie. She needed to sow her wild oats. Without contraception. And Lakshmi has no regrets,

"I probably shouldn't have been with anybody and just taken the time I needed for myself but I was presented with two very different, very interesting men and men do it all the time. I chose to do it. I was open with the men involved... I'm going to own my history. That's what I did."

Own it. That's how empowered people talk. "My history" is a bit lofty. But she's hot. She can say what she wants. No one's listening. I don't eat curry, but I'd happily amuse her bouche.

Photo credit: Padma Lakshmi / Instagram/ FameFlynet