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jhanson - January 13, 2015
Future Jihadi beheading victim and adult motion picture actress Mia Khalifa is trying to recruit players to join her beloved Florida State Seminoles football team. Khalifa herself doesn't attend the university because the rigorous entrance standards of four General Mills cereal box tops continues to elude her. Still, she maintains a level of loyalty well beyond most students or even the guys on the team. Khalifa reached out to some guy named Braxton Miller on Twitter because Miller is apparently considering transferring schools and is good at football:
"If you come to FSU I'll bring all my pornstar friends to the games."
That's pretty awesome because it's almost impossible to find stripper pussy in Florida. Also, if this dude has any NFL potential, you're going to bone him on the layaway plan any time he rolls through town playing for the competition. Maybe you should apply this activist spirit to becoming more educated, or conversely, less dumb. If you really want to help out the Seminoles, you could be beating down bitches who contemplate bringing assault charges against Jameis Winston. That shit should never come up if you and your porn star friends are doing your job right.
Photo Credit: Instagram
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