Now You: iPhone vs. Android

My dad always says that you can judge a man by his shoes, his cigar, and his car. He enjoys talking like he's in a mental ward during The Great Depression. In 2018, you can add a cell phone to this list, because what you watch porn on in the bathroom truly defines the type of man you are. Owning an iPhone means that you might have a tight little pussy and an ironic tattoo of a dreamcatcher on your arm, but owning a phone that runs an Android operating system might mean that you're poor. Tight pussy. Poor. Either way, we're all tools. Me? I got that piping hot puss. Pick your poison and let us know which - iPhone or something that runs Android - is more appropriate for a man of stature in the 21st century.

Photo Credit: Backgrid