Now You: Christmas Wish

First off, by "wish" I mean a thing to be purchased. A product. If your Christmas wish is for a family member to be taken off chemo or for peace at the border then you've got bigger problems. If Santa being born in that manger all those years ago has taught me anything, it's that a Rimowa Topas 22" aluminum carry-on will make me happy. I currently drag around some piece of actual shit that, no joke, doesn't even have a brand. No maker. It just fell from poor people heaven into my lap. Once you start paying attention to nice luggage you'll realize that you're a sad homeless clown. I promise. Oh I'd also accept drugs from Santa Jesus. Anyway what do you want?

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