Michael Bay, Of All People, Bringing ‘Dora the Explorer’ to the Big Screen

Despite having no business working with children's properties, Michael Bay continues scooping up beloved childhood properties and exploding them onto the big screen. Now that he's bled Transformers dry, Bay is setting his sights on one of Nickelodeon's longest running cash cows: Dora the Explorer.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, Bay's Platinum Dunes production company is bringing a live-action Dora movie to the big screen with Nicholas Stoller (2011's The Muppets, Neighbors) writing and directing. Apparently there has been a movie in development since 2015, but it likely involved no explosions or horrific Latin American stereotypes. Thankfully Bay's version will likely add both of those things in large quantities.

While it's easy to make fun of Michael Bay and the fact that he shouldn't be anywhere near a property like this, it's emblematic of Hollywood's blockbuster problem. Jazz up an old property with stuff that appeals to kids today like explosions, dinosaurs, Snapchats, and GameStations, and fizzy sugar drinks. In my day, Dora just stood there and waited for you to answer her questions. Now those silences will be filled with carnage, the likes of which she's never seen before. I think it's time for the movie gods to stop this thing in its tracks.