Mastermind Of The Day: Christopher Wade – Mannequin Lover

In honor of the wayward criminals of the comedy, Masterminds, in theaters September 30, we're taking a look at some of our world's most inept, clumsy, and dumb-ass criminals.

Remember the movie Mannequin from the 80's? That's the one where Andrew McCarthy works in a department store and he creates a mannequin that turns into Kim Cattrall at night but only to him. There are a lot of wacky goings on when he is repeatedly caught in compromising positions with the mannequin. In the end, (30 year old spoiler alert), the mannequin becomes a real woman and they get married in the store window as Starship's Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now plays. I guess Christopher Wade saw that movie one too many times and thought maybe he could make his Kim Cattrall fantasies come true for real. Christopher allegedly went into the Hustler Hollywood store and grabbed a mannequin dressed in thousands of dollars in lingerie and took off with it. The store employees gave chase but he quickly threw the mannequin in his truck and drove away.

The employees at the store got the license plate number and the cops tracked him down to an unidentified woman's house. Why this woman would let him enter her home carrying a mannequin in expensive lingerie is a question we may never get the answer to. When the cops entered the bedroom they found Christopher in flagrante delicto with the mannequin. They naturally arrested him and returned the mannequin and the lingerie to the store. Though, if I were the store I wouldn't want it back after that dude made sweet sweet love to it. This is a really stupid crime. If you just check the dumpsters at department stores they regularly throw out mannequins when they get new ones and you don't have to get arrested. I mean, if you HAVE to have sex with a mannequin do it smarter. 

See the Masterminds trailer.