Madison Beer’s Faptastic Figure In Absolutely Tiny Crop Top

Madison Beer sounds like something a Milwaukee beer snob would use to describe a watered down lager. Nevertheless, she's actually a real person who is famous for some reason. I think it has to do with her breasts, but that's just a guess on my part. As far as I can tell she's never created anything, or recorded an album, or written a treatise on the slow but steady death of the human condition.

I mean, maybe she has. Perhaps she's famous for being the first person with breast implants to graduate with honors from MIT. Or maybe, just maybe, and hear me out on this, maybe she's famous because she has big breasts and wears form fitting clothing that accentuates them. Then again, maybe she's helping map the human genome and was stepping out for a late night pick-me-up latte.

Something tells me that's not it, but I can't help but feel that there's a reason I should know who Madison Beer is beyond her breasts. There's something about her that makes me wonder what it is that she's up to. Perhaps she was a scout sent from a distant land to lull us into a state where it no longer matters how one becomes famous, just that they are famous. Uh oh, I think her mission's an unqualified success.

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