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TV & FILM
bill-swift - October 6, 2012
As you all know by now, as we gear up towards the return of Hobbits and Elves in December's The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, we've begun our tournament of little champions to see who will survive to face off against the Hobbits in the final round just before the film's release.
Last week we saw the Seven Dwarfs body-slam the Lollipop Guild onto the mat like they were Andy Kaufman trying to maintain some celebrity. Today we move onto Round Two of our little creature smackdown where those Empire-ending Endorian entities, the Ewoks, take their turn in the ring against the temporal travelling, totally tenacious Time Bandits. Now let's see who will live to survive to next week's fight.
The Ewoks - Sure they're little, move slowly and don't wear pants, but don't count the Ewoks out just yet. Remember a little thing called the Vietnam War? The guerrilla Viet Cong, living deep in the jungles with little professional military training kept us in conflict for almost a decade. The Ewoks are basically Endor's Viet Cong, managing to somehow take down the entire Evil Empire with sticks, rocks and a little help from their friends.
The Time Bandits - Anyone's dangerous when they're on the run from the law. When the fuzz is on your tail, you've got nothing to lose, which means you're bound to do anything to stay out of the big house. And when you've stolen a time travelling map from the Supreme Being and have his giant, floating head coming after you, you're apt to mess up anyone big or tall who gets in your way.
And the winner is...
This was a close call, with each group having pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses, but in the end there can only be one winner and in this round it was those time travelling thieves...the Time Bandits. And why? Well simply because they can use their powers of temporal journeying to go back in time, tell their younger selves how to defeat the Ewoks and then cheat their way to victory and as everyone knows, those Time Bandits play dirty.
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