Lindsay Lohan Attacked (Not Really) and Amanda Bynes Locks Herself in Cupcake Bathroom; You’re Welcome, New York

What a weekend for celebrities who fled from L.A. to N.Y. to find some sanctuary from the media and bad influences in Hollywood. Yeah, that plans has only worked -- never.

Amanda Bynes who people are refusing to publicly state is clearly heavily caught up in some kind of mind altering substances, locked herself in a cupcake bakery bathroom for half an hour before firefighters were forced to extricate the trouble 20-something celeb.

And, honest citizen Lindsay Lohan got into a late-night, post-nightclubbing kerfuffle with some idiot star-stalking Congressional staffer dude she invited to party back at her hotel room after the tool started taking cell phone pictures of Lindsay doing something Lindsay would rather not have published. Probably something like reading to schoolchildren, though, it was 1:00am in a hotel room party, so, maybe not. So, Lindsay did what so many of her effed up in the head celebrity hotel guests have done before her -- she pulled the fire alarm.

Lindsay claims the dude assaulted her and wanted him charged; according to our friends at TMZ, the police found no evidence of an assault and dropped all charges. Do these people ever get billed for wasting police time and dime?