Lena Dunham Finally On A Leash

Medical professionals need to rename a sexually transmitted disease after Lena Dunham because she has more than earned the honor. Dunham always shows up unexpectedly and no one ever wants her around. Just when the world unanimously exhaled a sigh of relief, believing that she was finally gone after fitting her full foot in her mouth during the MeToo fiasco, she’s back. Similar to that bump in your pants that you’re not sure whether it came from shaving or your most recent one night stand. Unfortunately, just like herpes, there’s still no cure for a woman who brings a brand of feminism that’s lazier than Forest Whitaker’s left eye. But she wants everyone to know that she’s attempting to take accountability and entrusting a team of 19 people to curb her outbursts on social media.

Acknowledging her history of creating controversies — and then issuing public apologies — Dunham admitted during a talk with new Glamour editor-in-chief Samantha Barry that the pattern had become somewhat of a running joke. “These articles come out that say, ‘Lena Dunham apologies for like the 87th’ time,’ [but] that was how I was raised,” she said. “We try and we fail and we try again. We think the problem from another angle and we grow.” “I have about 19 people ready to stop me from tweeting."

The level of stupidity that always oozes from Dunham are at such high levels of unstoppability I doubt a SEAL Team Six could stop her from slipping out a tweet. Her roster of around the clock available handlers will only prove to be futile as pitching in her two cents on every topic for Lena is more reoccurring and mandatory than her monthly menstruation.

Photo Credit: Backgrid USA / Splash News