Jessica Simpson Fully Loaded

Every now and then that little ounce of humanity in me finds pity for even the indulged celebrities. Like Jessica Simpson getting loaded on three glasses of champagne and starvation diets and having to face a thousand high powered camera lights coming out of a club late night (here's the TMZ video). I can't imagine how much I'd want to Hulk smash the shit out of people shining pain into my inebriated irises on my rare drinking night out. Millions of dollars and mansions and chauffeurs are nice. But at this moment you're trading it all in for dim lighting and a piping hot twin pack of Jack in the Box tacos. Beneath our big enhanced tits, we're all just the same imperfect animals. I call first on humping.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI