Is Kate Middleton Carrying the Egotastic! Baby?

With world-class hottie princess Kate Middleton touring former regions of the British Empire in Southeast Asia, rumors are swirling that the Duchess of Cambridge is pregnant with the heir to the throne of England. As you know, when it became apparent many months, nay, a year plus, after their wedding and Prince Bill still showing no signs of making male offspring with his beautiful bride, we offered to step in with our fecund appendage to build out the Windsor family line one Kate Middleton regal beagle boot knocking session at a time. We thought our offer rather charitable.

Now, as you might imagine, tons of paperwork was involved, non-disclosure agreements, hush-hush on adding the commoner seed to the royal line, etc., etc. So, as to whether or not Kate Middleton is preggo or not with a son uniquely obsessed with boobs and butts, well, no official comment. But as to whether there's a beachside motel room in Brighton still baring the after-mess of Pepperidge Farm cookie crumbles and dozens of empty tubes of Astroglide three months since, still no comment, just a knowing smile. Enjoy.