Is It Wrong to Want to Chew the Denim Off of Ashley Greene?

There are few things in this world that I want to do more than ravish (or is that ravage? or both) the hot tender and delicious body of Ashley Greene, who is most famous for a movie series I've never seen, but with whom I'd like to make some beautiful music.

The sextastic actress was flashing more leg over the weekend in the Big Apple in short jean shorts that left me feeling like a stake had been driven through my heart, and by stake through my heart, I really mean an uncomfortable squeeze around my dangling bo-bos. Something about this woman inspires me to want to be a much worse man, abscond with the heaven-sent hottie to the nearest lodging-by-the-hour facility, and pay for 120 minutes in advance. That's commitment. Enjoy.